I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
