I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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