we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This gyro tastes like lonliness
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
