So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
