You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
