The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
