She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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