I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize