Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
