Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
it glows. i had to have it.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
