The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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