I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
His hands were made for my vagina.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
