Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
