There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
