I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
