belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
