Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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