Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
