I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
