WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
