god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
