Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
