He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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