we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize