God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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