I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
