I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
