So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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