3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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