Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
