Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
