you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
