yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize