I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
