I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
