My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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