I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
