the new term for farting is butt boxing.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
