Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
