How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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