pedialite and red bull = repair kit
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
