the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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