Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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