Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
