god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
