she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i drank out of a bidet.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize