in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
