Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
