Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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