is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
