I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
