That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
