I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I am naked and annoyed.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
