I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I had to cum in my sink.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
