did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he was CRYING into my vagina
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
