its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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