I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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