Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
