Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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