Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
