Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
