Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
