I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
