the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
