he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
