if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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