that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
