so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
