I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
