using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
