I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
