dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
