I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
