it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
false alarm. still invincible.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
