I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
