Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
