I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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