You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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